I don’t like to be bored.

I absolutely want to have a career where you make’em laugh and make’em cry. It’s all theater.

The best book, like the best speech, will do it all – make us laugh, think, cry and cheer – preferably in that order.

I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

Stand-up is hard.

I do all my own stunts. I’m kidding.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it’s their fault.

As soon as you set foot on a yacht you belong to some man, not to yourself, and you die of boredom.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

The movie business is a big gamble.

TV’s a big deal in prison. A big deal. People watch it nonstop.

As a rock star, I have two instincts, I want to have fun, and I want to change the world. I have a chance to do both.

It’s a lot of fun to fight.

I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I’d have a hairy conniption. I’d just go crazy.

The one thing about the business of entertainment is that you have to learn patience.

I never look at fashion magazines. I find them incredibly boring.

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.

I’m all about surprises. If you watch a horror movie, and it’s called ‚Kiss Land,‘ it’s probably going to be the most terrifying thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

My opinion can be completely different after a show.

When Jerry Springer thinks you’ve gone too far, my friends, you have gone too far.

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.

It’s not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

I never go anywhere. I do sketches and make phone calls, and people visit. It’s more fun to come to Paris.

In soloing – as in other activities – it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.

I’ve got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom.

‚Best Man Holiday‘ was a very successful film.

Some of my foster families used to send me to the movies to get me out of the house and there I’d sit all day and way into the night. Up in front, there with the screen so big, a little kid all alone, and I loved it. I loved anything that moved up there and I didn’t miss anything that happened and there was no popcorn either.

Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them.

Human beings need stories, and we’re looking for them in all kinds of places; whether it’s television, whether it’s comic books or movies, radio plays, whatever form, people are hungry for stories.

I take a lot of pride in the work I do, because people pay to see me. They’ve got to get babysitters, park their car, get popcorn and candy. I’ve got to be conscious of that.

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.

A lot of people are bored of all the political correctness.

As we all know, sequels can be tricky.

Is there a sharper commentary on American culture and the world than The Simpsons?

I’ve always loved the showmanship of professional wrestling. While I love making movies, I love that platform, too.

Maybe some people can wake up and play PlayStation all day, but that’s never been me.

Stand-up is my baby.

I want to play a fireman and a spy. I want to learn special effects.

That summer after the draft was probably the most fun I’ve ever had, because all I had to do every day was wake up and go work out for four or five hours. I got to play some golf, which I love to do, too, and then got to hang out with my family.

Everybody is entertained to death.

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

‚Star Wars‘ is fun, its exciting, its inspirational, and people respond to that. It’s what they want.

Nearly all the things I do that are of any merit at all start off just being good fun, and I think I’m sort of building up to doing something else quite soon.

When you combine boring with fear, you have fun.

I can’t play bridge. I don’t play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn’t seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window.

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.

I can remember earning £5,000 a game playing for Hibs at the end of the Seventies. They let me commute from London, train on the Friday and play on Saturday. That lasted until my friends at the Inland Revenue decided to take two-thirds. That wasn’t very entertaining for me.

Besides entertainment and action, I want to educate. You know, as a producer or director, we do have a responsibility to society.

If you’re serious, you really understand that it’s important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you’re the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you’re funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity.

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

I don’t race cars.

Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.

I can’t play soccer, and I’m not a great swimmer. I won’t drown, but you won’t see me doing laps in a pool.

Movies are fun, but they are no cure for cancer.

If you can be mentally stimulated by the workout and find out how to get through it, it’s more fun.

A subject for a great poet would be God’s boredom after the seventh day of creation.

I turned away from bikes when I got a bambino kart for my seventh birthday and started doing some karting, just around some cones at home, but I didn’t think at that point I knew I wanted to go into F1, it was more just for fun.

Disneyland is a show.

I take risks because I get bored. And I get bored very easily.