I am a normal guy from the Black Forest, and I do not compare myself with the geniuses.

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.

People should not make me out to be like Jesus; I don’t walk on water.

Man never thinks himself happy, but when he enjoys those things which others want or desire.

I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.

We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

Who is richer? The man who is seen, but cannot see? Or the man who is not being seen, but can see?

See how many are better off than you are, but consider how many are worse.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

In some respects, South African apartheid was more vicious than Israeli practices, and in some respects the opposite is true.

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop.

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock and roll or Christianity.

A lot of people have it a lot worse than you do.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

I never admire another’s fortune so much that I became dissatisfied with my own.

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss.

Dictionaries are like watches, the worst is better than none and the best cannot be expected to go quite true.

Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbour to have them through envy.

You’re beautiful, like a May fly.

My life is not unlike Truman’s. I can’t go anywhere.

Even though the risks of death are higher driving than flying, many people would rather drive simply because they feel they have more control driving. The facts are that only a few hundred people die a year flying, and 44,000 are killed a year driving.

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

Earth might one day soon resemble the planet Venus.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.

‚Kiss Land‘ is like a horror movie.

It would be an egregious mistake to ever refer to me in the same breath as most of the people I write about.

If I had to choose a superhero to be, I would pick Superman. He’s everything that I’m not.

The behavior of the crowd at Churchill Downs is like 100,000 vicious Hyenas going berserk all at once in a space about the size of a 777 jet or the White House lawn.

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

We believe that according the name ‚investors‘ to institutions that trade actively is like calling someone who repeatedly engages in one-night stands a ‚romantic.‘

Considering their impact, you might expect mosquitoes to get more attention than they do. Sharks kill fewer than a dozen people every year, and in the U.S. they get a week dedicated to them on TV every year.

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.

To some extent I liken slavery to death.

A majority is always better than the best repartee.

A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting.

If you’ve spent a long time developing a skill and techniques, and now some 14 year-old upstart can get exactly the same result, you might feel a bit miffed I suppose, but that has happened forever.

Clothes if they are not well cut, you can kill nobody. A building poorly built can kill people. It’s a much more difficult work. I would not compare myself with that.

French fries kill more people than guns and sharks, yet nobody’s afraid of French fries.

In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get – The Future!

David Icke reminded me of Malcolm X.

As a British driver, you get compared to Lewis and I get that. But when he came to McLaren, they were doing well and had a championship-winning car. I’m in a very different situation so I don’t compare myself to his stats.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

There are not a few among the disciples of charity who require, in their vocation, scarcely less excitement than the votaries of pleasure in theirs.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

It is far more difficult to murder a phantom than a reality.

Jesus is ideal and wonderful, but you Christians – you are not like him.

We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first, rock ‚n‘ roll or Christianity.

I have found that, in the composition of the human body as compared with the bodies of animals, the organs of sense are duller and coarser. Thus, it is composed of less ingenious instruments, and of spaces less capacious for receiving the faculties of sense.

In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad.

Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English.

In the past there were people who were not rich but contented with their living style, laughing and happy all day. But when the new rich people appear, people look at them and ask, ‚why don’t I have a life like that too, a beautiful house, car and garden,‘ and they abandon their values.

What an ugly beast the ape, and how like us.