He that has not got a wife is not yet a complete man.

Most people would rather give than get affection.

My fans saw me get engaged, saw me make that woman my wife, me having kids, me divorcing, me talking about divorce before the divorce, me talking about my kids‘ reaction to that divorce.

Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

Marriage is a school itself. Also, having children. Becoming a father changed my whole life. It taught me as if by revelation.

There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.

Within one’s own family, money is not the measure of things, unless the person is an absolute Scrooge. Only the most extreme kind of monster would put a price on everything.

Speak low, if you speak love.

For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?

There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.

I have more friends in New York than Paris.

The minute you start compromising for the sake of massaging somebody’s ego, that’s it, game over.

When I was married, I definitely went through a lying period.

Talk well of the absent whenever you have the opportunity.

I want someone who can trust that my big hands are going to take care of them.

I don’t eat with beautiful women alone.

If women were particular about men’s characters, they would never get married at all.

Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

The closest I ever came to getting married was just before I started singing. In fact, my first record saved my neck.

That’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he’s wise.

My greatest blessing has been the birth of my son. My next greatest blessing has been my ability to turn people into children of mine.

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.

I’m just a friendly person; that runs in my family.

Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, shall win my love.

Women may fall when there’s no strength in men.

I believe in love at first sight. You want that connection, and then you want some problems.

The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.

Marriage and family are ordained of God. The family is the most important social unit in time and in eternity. Under God’s great plan of happiness, families can be sealed in temples and be prepared to return to dwell in His holy presence forever. That is eternal life!

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

I can’t relate to lazy people. We don’t speak the same language. I don’t understand you. I don’t want to understand you.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone’s grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

Every man needs slaves like he needs clean air. To rule is to breathe, is it not? And even the most disenfranchised get to breathe. The lowest on the social scale have their spouses or their children.

Friendship with ones self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

I’ve never had a divorce, but I’ve seen so many of my friends, my sister, my family go through that stuff, so I try to write for the people that can’t write about it. I take on their sorrow, so I’m able to kind of express it, or their joy.

Perfect friendship is the friendship of men who are good, and alike in excellence; for these wish well alike to each other qua good, and they are good in themselves.

When your mother asks, ‚Do you want a piece of advice?‘ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.

Happiness is a hard master, particularly other people’s happiness.

I married my best friend that happens to be a girl.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

No one would choose a friendless existence on condition of having all the other things in the world.

I worked with someone who told me they’d never like me. But for some reason, I just felt like I needed her approval. So I started changing myself to please her. It made me stop being social and friendly. I was so unhappy.

You know, God has some really weird kids, and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.

There isn’t any formula or method. You learn to love by loving – by paying attention and doing what one thereby discovers has to be done.

I’m not denyin‘ the women are foolish. God Almighty made ‚em to match the men.

I don’t have to ‚freedom-kiss‘ my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement.

I think there are things that are based in your own dealings with someone that is a personal dealing, not a public dealing. Because you have personal experiences.

Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not. The church is going to have to become the conscience of the free market if it’s to have any meaning in this world – and stop being its apologist.

I know love is the answer.

You know how big love is? Love is big. love can hold anger; love can even hold hatred.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

I think daughters can change the perception of their fathers.

I think everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight and giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Until he establishes that this is a game. And if it’s a game, you need to win. The best thing to do is just walk away from the table.

I may neither choose who I would, nor refuse who I dislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbed by the will of a dead father.

In order to have friends, you must first be one.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.