Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

The first condition of progress is the removal of censorship.

Pop music can absorb so many peculiar talents, ranging from the completely nonmusical poseur who just uses music as a kind of springboard for a sense of style, to people who just love putting all that complicated stuff together, brick by brick, on their computers, to people like me who like playing conceptual games and being surprised.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

I happen to be a big fan of Western civilization; I think it beats the hell out of tyranny and starvation.

There’s nothing like white trash at the White House.

Work is that which you dislike doing but perform for the sake of external rewards. At school, this takes the form of grades. In society, it means money, status, privilege.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‚Where’s the self-help section?‘ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It’s just funny.

Fashion is inspired by youth and nostalgia and draws inspiration from the best of the past.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than what they think laughable.

In many ways, when you’re a Nobel peace laureate, you have an obligation to humankind, to society.

I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.

My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‚All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.‘

I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don’t know how to do it, and wouldn’t be any good at it if I did, so I’m going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.

Democracy is the road to socialism.

In Italy they take cheap cloth and make it look expensive, but I take expensive cloth and make it look cheap. They just don’t understand.

You know what, I’m very attracted to someone who makes me laugh and is that charming. Really, I could be charmed by anyone. I’m just a sucker for somebody that is charming.

To understand Europe, you have to be a genius – or French.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

My fans kept asking where they could get clothes like Destiny’s Child’s, so it was only natural for us to do a clothing line.

No man has any natural authority over his fellow men.

I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the elderly ill seems to have no philosophy to it. As a society, we should establish whether we have a policy of life at any cost.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

I just use fashion as an excuse to talk about politics. Because I’m a fashion designer, it gives me a voice, which is really good.

Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

In America today, we are nearer a final triumph over poverty than is any other land.

Don’t just eat McDonald’s, get something a bit better. Eat a salad. That’s what fashion is. It’s something that is a bit better.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

I always loved advertising. If I hadn’t been in fashion, I’d have been in advertising.

Upon the education of the people of this country the fate of this country depends.

I’ve always had my own access to the public, because I started off making my clothes for a little shop, and so I’ve always had people buying them. I could always sell a few, even if I couldn’t sell a lot, and somehow my business grew because people happened to like it. I’m in a fortunate position.

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.

Fashion is made to become unfashionable.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

For too long in this society, we have celebrated unrestrained individualism over common community.

I like a good pair of jeans, but I also like putting on a nice tux. I’d rather go around in a good pair of jeans that you don’t wash every day, because they get more and more comfortable.

To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.

I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people’s memories for a while.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

To terrify children with the image of hell… to consider women an inferior creation. Is that good for the world?

I’ve just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that’s the record.

I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage which in the past has been brought to public life is not as likely to insist upon or regard that quality in its chosen leaders today – and in fact we have forgotten.

Liverpool people are famous for liking clothes and fashion; they are very social and lively people, and we know that they like clothes.

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his.

I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is growing up. In ‚The Colour of Magic‘ most of the city is set alight. It’s a joke, in much the same way that the Earth is destroyed almost at the start of Douglas Adams’s ‚The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.‘

Great countries are those that produce great people.

As in geology, so in social institutions, we may discover the causes of all past changes in the present invariable order of society.

If the structures of the human mind remain unchanged, we will always end up re-creating the same world, the same evils, the same dysfunction.

A lot of people think I’m a comedian.

When I am putting looks together, I dare myself to make something work. I always look for the most interesting silhouette or something that’s a little off, but I have to figure it out. I have to make it me. I think that’s the thrill in fashion.

Look at our society. Everyone wants to be thin, but nobody wants to diet. Everyone wants to live long, but few will exercise. Everybody wants money, yet seldom will anyone budget or control their spending.

I am, and ever will be, a white socks, pocket protector, nerdy engineer.