Friends applaud, the comedy is over.

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

Friendship is essentially a partnership.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.

I go to assume a task more difficult than that which devolved upon Washington. Unless the great God, who assisted him, shall be with me and aid me, I must fail; but if the same omniscient mind and almighty arm that directed and protected him shall guide and support me, I shall not fail – I shall succeed.

My friends, there are no friends.

OVOXO will always be there.

I can honestly say, after talking about my mom passing away, I got the biggest weight off of my chest. Comedy is my therapy. That’s how I deal with my problems, my personal battles. I talk about it. I give it to my fans. When they laugh at it, it’s a release, for lack of a better word.

We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.

If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go into business, because we’d be cynical. Well, that’s nonsense. You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

I was always very curious as a young man about why older writers who I met seemed so indifferent to what was going on, whereas I, in my 20s, was reading everything. Everything seemed important. But they were only interested in the writers they admired when they were young, and I didn’t understand it then, but now, now I understand it.

However my parents – both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing quirk that would never pay a mortgage or secure a pension.

As a sportsperson, the best thing is people recognising you and loving you for what you do. For me, glamour is 100 people in the hotel feeling happy to see you.

Martyrs, my friend, have to choose between being forgotten, mocked or used. As for being understood – never.

The rule of friendship means there should be mutual sympathy between them, each supplying what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other, always using friendly and sincere words.

As this long and difficult war ends, I would like to address a few special words to the American people: Your steadfastness in supporting our insistence on peace with honor has made peace with honor possible.

No; we have been as usual asking the wrong question. It does not matter a hoot what the mockingbird on the chimney is singing. The real and proper question is: Why is it beautiful?

I don’t think comedy will ever die.

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it – and sometimes three.

It’s rare for a startup to make money immediately, so you need to make sure that you have enough saved or that you have another income stream that can support you.

Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.

With all the… success that I’ve been lucky enough to get? That doesn’t happen unless the home life is solid.

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.

All you need to do to be my friend is like me.

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

If misery loves company, misery has company enough.

War should only be declared by the authority of the people, whose toils and treasures are to support its burdens, instead of the government which is to reap its fruits.

It’s hard knowing who to trust with your personal life. When you cry in your room at night, you don’t always know who to call. So I am very close to my family.

I’ve known Ben Stiller for a minute. One of my first movies was ‚Along Came Polly.‘

General consultant to mankind.

Never injure a friend, even in jest.

Truth stands, even if there be no public support. It is self-sustained.

Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners, and necessity has made us allies. Those whom God has so joined together, let no man put asunder.

I hate letting my teammates down. I know I’m not going to make every shot. Sometimes I try to make the right play, and if it results in a loss, I feel awful. I don’t feel awful because I have to answer questions about it. I feel awful in that locker room because I could have done something more to help my teammates win.

It is not so much our friends‘ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.

Understand, our police officers put their lives on the line for us every single day. They’ve got a tough job to do to maintain public safety and hold accountable those who break the law.

People who work for me know that family comes first. And I’m fortunate to have a family that is very supportive of the work I do, so I don’t have to live two separate lives.

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.

Tell your wife often how terrific she looks.

Among the many values in life, I appreciate freedom most.

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.

The older I get, the better I understand that every day is a gift.

Solidarity is an attitude of resistance, I suppose, or it should be.

People haven’t always been there for me, but music always has.

Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more.

There is something in the unselfish and self-sacrificing love of a brute, which goes directly to the heart of him who has had frequent occasion to test the paltry friendship and gossamer fidelity of mere Man.

I give thanks to God and to all the people in the U.K. who have supported me over the years.

Even with all of the things that are so awful, if you walk into your yard and stay there looking at almost anything for five minutes, you will be stunned by how marvelous life is and how incredibly lucky we are to have it.

I personally have always been in favor of people who are gay being permitted to marry legally – and I still feel that way.

I wanted to be a writer-performer like the Pythons. In fact, I wanted to be John Cleese, and it took me some time to realise that the job was, in fact, taken.

It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer’s you are an old fart. That’s how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.

You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.

So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.

I make friends faster and easier than journalists.

True friends stab you in the front.

Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.

I have good friends who are politicians on both sides.

What I like about the jokes, to me it’s a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won’t be funny.

This character feels so much like my brother. He has two children. He has a wife. He works with me. He chooses to stay in New Hampshire because he wants his kids to grow up in the school they started with. He doesn’t want them to lose friends. He is his family’s hero.

Let it be our delight to find our society in the circle of which Jesus is the center, and let us make those our friends who are the friends of Jesus.