For as one star another far exceeds, So souls in heaven are placed by their deeds.

There is only a finger’s difference between a wise man and a fool.

Fate is nothing but the deeds committed in a prior state of existence.

There is no heaven or afterlife for broken-down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.

Heaven is dumb, echoing only the dumb.

I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I don’t have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.

The Son of God became incarnate in the souls of men to instill the feeling of brotherhood. All are brothers and all children of God.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It’s like stealing a two-year-old.

If I err in belief that the souls of men are immortal, I gladly err, nor do I wish this error which gives me pleasure to be wrested from me while I live.

God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there.

You’re beautiful, like a May fly.

I am not going to Heaven because I have preached to great crowds or read the Bible many times. I’m going to Heaven just like the thief on the cross who said in that last moment: ‚Lord, remember me.‘

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace.

There’s no difference between movies and television. None at all. Except in a lot of cases, television’s much better than movies.

Joy is the serious business of Heaven.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

It is far more difficult to murder a phantom than a reality.

People should not make me out to be like Jesus; I don’t walk on water.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.

Heaven gives us hope and makes our present burdens easier to bear.

There is no hope of anyone going to Heaven unless they believe this truth I am presenting. You cannot go to Heaven unless you believe with all your heart that Jesus took your place in Hell.

If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there.

Apple’s market share is bigger than BMW’s or Mercedes’s or Porsche’s in the automotive market. What’s wrong with being BMW or Mercedes?

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.

Our body is dependant on Heaven and Heaven on the Spirit.

During most of my freelancing, I made what I would have made in charge of the cafeteria at a pretty good junior-high school.

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.

Talking isn’t doing. It is a kind of good deed to say well; and yet words are not deeds.

‚Kiss Land‘ is like a horror movie.

Great and good are seldom the same man.

It would be an egregious mistake to ever refer to me in the same breath as most of the people I write about.

Being no bigot myself to any mode of worship, I am disposed to endulge the professors of Christianity in the church, that road to heaven which to them shall seem the most direct plainest easiest and least liable to exception.

We object not to the narration of the deeds of our unregenerate condition, but to the mode in which it is too often done. Let sin have its monument, but let it be a heap of stones cast by the hands of execration – not a mausoleum erected by the hands of affection.

Video is growing very quickly on Facebook. A lot of people compare that to YouTube. I think that kind of makes sense. YouTube isn’t the only video service, but I think it’s the biggest, and it probably makes more sense to compare Facebook video to YouTube rather than Netflix because that’s a completely different kind of content.

Unlike many of its European neighbors, Britain shares many of America’s financial traits.

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

Doing a show for three weeks is nothing like doing a show for seven seasons.

Jesus is ideal and wonderful, but you Christians – you are not like him.

So many people are looking at what’s wrong, and I try to encourage them to look at what’s right in their life. A lot of people have it a lot worse than you do.

Writing music is just like writing a book.

Particularly Instagram, people look like they have a much better life than they really do. People basically seem like they are way better-looking than they really are, and they are way happier-seeming than they really are.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

To some extent I liken slavery to death.

Man seems to be the only animal whose food soils him, making necessary much washing and shield-like bibs and napkins. Moles living in the earth and eating slimy worms are yet as clean as seals or fishes, whose lives are one perpetual wash.

If you’ve spent a long time developing a skill and techniques, and now some 14 year-old upstart can get exactly the same result, you might feel a bit miffed I suppose, but that has happened forever.

In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get – The Future!

Heaven is a state of mind, not a location, since Spirit is everywhere and in everything.

In the United States, one of the main topics of academic political science is the study of attitudes and policy and their correlation. The study of attitudes is reasonably easy in the United States: heavily-polled society, pretty serious and accurate polls, and policy you can see, and you can compare them.

Dictionaries are like watches, the worst is better than none and the best cannot be expected to go quite true.

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

I hope you love birds too. It is economical. It saves going to heaven.

I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Just as I wanted to outdo everyone when I played, I had to outdo everyone when we were out on the town.

Obama’s not Jesus. He can’t walk on water.

Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell.

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.

In praise there is more obtrusiveness than in blame.

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.