‚Educational‘ refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.

Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle… and not just in the sense of money, by the way; the Beatles are untouchable – those billionaire reports are a joke.

It is really funny when people say you’d be obvious for a great villain.

Someone once asked me, ‚How long does it take to do your hair.‘ I said, ‚I don’t know, I’m never there.‘

I need physics more than friends.

How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn’t make it a leg.

I have enjoyed great satisfaction from my climb of Everest and my trips to the poles. But there’s no doubt that my most worthwhile things have been the building of schools and medical clinics.

I don’t go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it’s contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

Kathleen Wynne and her band of radical-left cronies think they have a handle on what constitutes human identity and also what should constitute human morality. And I think that that’s being pushed in a manner in schools that’s completely reprehensible. It’s not education, in my estimation. It’s a form of indoctrination.

My mother came from India to go to the University of California, Berkeley.

Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.

Nature has always had more force than education.

You can choose a future where more Americans have the chance to gain the skills they need to compete, no matter how old they are or how much money they have. Education was the gateway to opportunity for me. It was the gateway for Michelle. And now more than ever, it is the gateway to a middle-class life.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I’d go to, like, six different schools in one year. We were on welfare, and my mom never ever worked.

I just think it’s so important not to take yourself too seriously.

One of my mentors schooled me on branding before it was a cliche term in the game.

If we help an educated man’s daughter to go to Cambridge are we not forcing her to think not about education but about war? – not how she can learn, but how she can fight in order that she might win the same advantages as her brothers?

I believe in this concept that you learn by teaching.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

You know, nothing is more important than education, because nowhere are our stakes higher; our future depends on the quality of education of our children today.

The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.

There’s different kinds of laughs. It’s like a baseball lineup: this guy’s your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we’re gonna win.

You know what, I’m very attracted to someone who makes me laugh and is that charming. Really, I could be charmed by anyone. I’m just a sucker for somebody that is charming.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I’m joking and when I’m serious.

It’s very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that’s not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It’s a gut feeling.

When people are connected, we can just do some great things. They have the opportunity to get access to jobs, education, health, communications. We have the opportunity to bring the people we care about closer to us. It really makes a big difference.

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Ignorance, the root and stem of all evil.

I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.

I didn’t get trained by the school system like other kids, and when I did concentrate on learning, my mind was cluttered and locked by the programming of the system.

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.

On the first day of school, my teacher, Miss Mdingane, gave each of us an English name and said that from thenceforth that was the name we would answer to in school. This was the custom among Africans in those days and was undoubtedly due to the British bias of our education.

A lot of people think I’m a comedian.

Acting is just a process of relaxation, actually. Knowing the text so well and trusting that the instinct and the subconscious mind, whatever you want to call it, is going to take over.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they’re eating sandwiches.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Community colleges play an important role in helping people transition between careers by providing the retooling they need to take on a new career.

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.

I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it’s absolutely true.

Never have we stolen the intelligences of other peoples. On the contrary, in Cuba we have trained tens of thousands of doctors and other top-level professionals, for free, in order to send them back to their own countries.

There was a little girl in California who was part of the second class to integrate her public schools and she was bused to school every day. That little girl was me.

I like having my hands in the clay. I like the movie-making process.

The true university of these days is a collection of books.

Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.

They know enough who know how to learn.

As the poet said, ‚Only God can make a tree,‘ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.

In this knowledge-worker age, it’s now increasingly tied to doing well in school so you can get into better grad schools so you can get better jobs – so the pressure to do well is really high.

The secret to the movie business, or any business, is to get a good education in a subject besides film – whether it’s history, psychology, economics, or architecture – so you have something to make a movie about. All the skill in the world isn’t going to help you unless you have something to say.

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

America is the student who defies the odds to become the first in a family to go to college – the citizen who defies the cynics and goes out there and votes – the young person who comes out of the shadows to demand the right to dream. That’s what America is about.

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

The paradox of education is precisely this – that as one begins to become conscious one begins to examine the society in which he is being educated.

Why should I be studying for a future that soon may not exist?

We are born weak, we need strength; helpless, we need aid; foolish, we need reason. All that we lack at birth, all that we need when we come to man’s estate, is the gift of education.

See, that’s why Barack’s running: to end the war in Iraq responsibly – to build an economy that lifts every family, to make sure health care is available for every American – and to make sure that every child in this nation has a world-class education all the way from preschool to college.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?