David Icke reminded me of Malcolm X.

In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad.

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you.

People should not make me out to be like Jesus; I don’t walk on water.

It would be an egregious mistake to ever refer to me in the same breath as most of the people I write about.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

To some extent I liken slavery to death.

Considering their impact, you might expect mosquitoes to get more attention than they do. Sharks kill fewer than a dozen people every year, and in the U.S. they get a week dedicated to them on TV every year.

Particularly Instagram, people look like they have a much better life than they really do. People basically seem like they are way better-looking than they really are, and they are way happier-seeming than they really are.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

Great and good are seldom the same man.

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.

‚Kiss Land‘ is like a horror movie.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

You just want something else that someone else has, but that doesn’t mean what you have isn’t beautiful, because people always want what you have, and you always want what they have – no one is ever 100 per cent like, ‚Yes, I’m the bomb dot com – from head to toe!‘

Even though the risks of death are higher driving than flying, many people would rather drive simply because they feel they have more control driving. The facts are that only a few hundred people die a year flying, and 44,000 are killed a year driving.

If I had to choose a superhero to be, I would pick Superman. He’s everything that I’m not.

I have more friends in New York than Paris.

Everyone I look up to is bringing me into the tech world. You’d be surprised by all the music people in it, invested in it.

In some respects, South African apartheid was more vicious than Israeli practices, and in some respects the opposite is true.

We believe that according the name ‚investors‘ to institutions that trade actively is like calling someone who repeatedly engages in one-night stands a ‚romantic.‘

I have found that, in the composition of the human body as compared with the bodies of animals, the organs of sense are duller and coarser. Thus, it is composed of less ingenious instruments, and of spaces less capacious for receiving the faculties of sense.

You’re beautiful, like a May fly.

In the United States, one of the main topics of academic political science is the study of attitudes and policy and their correlation. The study of attitudes is reasonably easy in the United States: heavily-polled society, pretty serious and accurate polls, and policy you can see, and you can compare them.

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.

Can people who hunger so desperately for what other people have ever have enough?

There’s no difference between movies and television. None at all. Except in a lot of cases, television’s much better than movies.

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first, rock ‚n‘ roll or Christianity.

Obama’s not Jesus. He can’t walk on water.

Madonna and I are very different. Just saying. We’re very different. I wouldn’t make that comparison at all, and I don’t mean to disrespect Madonna: she’s a nice lady, and she’s had a fantastic, huge career – biggest pop star of all time.

For as one star another far exceeds, So souls in heaven are placed by their deeds.

It’s a nice reader, but there’s nothing on the iPad I look at and say, ‚Oh, I wish Microsoft had done it.‘

We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing.

My life is not unlike Truman’s. I can’t go anywhere.

I have found far greater enthusiasm for science in America than here in Britain. There is more enthusiasm for everything in America.

In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get – The Future!

I never admire another’s fortune so much that I became dissatisfied with my own.

Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbour to have them through envy.

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean.

It disturbs me no more to find men base, unjust, or selfish than to see apes mischievous, wolves savage, or the vulture ravenous.

Just as I wanted to outdo everyone when I played, I had to outdo everyone when we were out on the town.

The brain is wider than the sky.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

Malcolm X was the first political person in this country that I really identified with. If he had lived and not been purged, I probably would have joined the Muslims.

You’d have a hard time finding anything better than Barcelona for food, as far as being a hub. Given a choice between Barcelona and San Sebastian to die in, I’d probably want to die in San Sebastian.

The Old Testament God is a person with body parts and passions. The Church of England God has neither body, parts nor passions, and is therefore not a person.

As a British driver, you get compared to Lewis and I get that. But when he came to McLaren, they were doing well and had a championship-winning car. I’m in a very different situation so I don’t compare myself to his stats.

The behavior of the crowd at Churchill Downs is like 100,000 vicious Hyenas going berserk all at once in a space about the size of a 777 jet or the White House lawn.

Music is like film to me.

You might say that Lyndon Johnson is a cross between a Baptist preacher and a cowboy.

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

Baldwin thought Europe was a bore, and Chamberlain thought it was only a greater Birmingham.