Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes.

Movies are a fad. Audiences really want to see live actors on a stage.

We can come to look upon the deaths of our enemies with as much regret as we feel for those of our friends, namely, when we miss their existence as witnesses to our success.

The person who has lived the most is not the one with the most years but the one with the richest experiences.

I didn’t have to win, and winning wasn’t important to me. Being world champion wasn’t important to me. What was important to me was entertaining the audience, and whether that meant winning, losing, singing, or whatever it was on the live show we were doing every week, which was awesome, I was game for it.

There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.

There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.

Teach a parrot the terms ‚supply and demand‘ and you’ve got an economist.

You see some of the weirdest people in Detroit casinos.

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don’t like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around.

There are no such things as Flowers there are only gladdened Leaves.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.

My authoritarian and quick manner of making decisions led me to have serious problems and to be accused of being ultraconservative. I have never been a right-winger. It was my authoritarian way of making decisions that created problems.

I think I hate cynicism more than anything else. It’s the curse of our age, and I want to avoid it at all costs.

There was a while when I was feeling like, ‚Damn, if I’d just been born black, I would not have to go through all this‘.

Laughter is America’s most important export.

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.

Happiness is within the reach of everyone, rich or poor. Yet comparatively few people are happy. I believe the reason for this is that the majority don’t recognize happiness even when it is within their grasp.

I mean, I feel like you get more bees with honey. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated in my life.

It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

The greatest enemy of any one of our truths may be the rest of our truths.

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don’t they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It’s obvious I’ve got big ones and if people want to assume they’re not mine, then let them.

We’re all going to die, all of us; what a circus! That alone should make us love each other, but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities. We are eaten up by nothing.

My life as a child did not prepare me for the fact that the world is full of cruel and bitter things.

I never get too high on my stardom or what I can do.

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost.

I don’t spend too much time on my phone, laptop or television. However, I do occasionally watch documentaries and shows on streaming platforms.

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

I try to look on all the great things God’s done, and not focus on the negative. It’s a perspective.

I don’t get bored.

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

I get that racism exists, but it’s not a catalyst for my content. I don’t need to talk about race to have material. My style of comedy is more self-deprecating. I think that makes me more relatable. When you deal with ‚topics‘ – race, white versus black – you’re not separating from the pack. You’re doing what everybody else is doing.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Everything I learned I learned from the movies.

He who has not the spirit of this age, has all the misery of it.

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.

They say the world has become too complex for simple answers. They are wrong.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‚Where’s the self-help section?‘ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.

Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.

When you’re coming up with new material, it’s not always gonna be good. The only way to learn is for it not to get a laugh, so you can adjust it and come back the next day to see if it’s working right. Next time, you might get a different laugh. You’re constantly rebuilding.

I love WWE, and I love that platform. There is no other platform in the world that gives me that instant gratification. There is just no other platform.

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Sooner or later we’re all someone’s dog.

I always was a rich person because money’s not related to happiness.

I’m so old, I don’t buy green bananas any more.

If you’re doing a biography, you try to stay as accurate as possible to reality. But you really don’t know what was going on in the person’s mind. You just know what was going on in the minds of people around him.

One likes people much better when they’re battered down by a prodigious siege of misfortune than when they triumph.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

I love nerdy, cute, quirky boys who don’t take themselves too seriously.

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they’re still beautiful.

I hate to be smart.

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.

It’s always appealing to play a character that has to overcome himself as well as an obstacle. It makes the drama so much deeper.

If we can really understand the problem, the answer will come out of it, because the answer is not separate from the problem.

The world is like a grand staircase, some are going up and some are going down.

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.