Will Rogers Quotes

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Even though you are on the right track – you will get run over if you just sit there.

Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‚How is the president?‘

People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that’s Memoirs.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what’s going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him ‚father.‘

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.

An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don’t get wet you can keep.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

If I studied all my life, I couldn’t think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn’t go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he’s got.

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can’t read. If they could read their stuff, they’d stop writing.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

Last year we said, ‚Things can’t go on like this‘, and they didn’t, they got worse.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it’s been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I’m in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. ‚Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that’s mass production.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

It’s easy being a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you.

An economist’s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else’s.

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else’s affairs.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

There’s only one thing that can kill the movies, and that’s education.

We don’t seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can’t make anybody believe that he has it.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn’t have to advertise it.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It’s this – no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

If you can build a business up big enough, it’s respectable.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven’t had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.