As a comedian, I found this thing, this profession, that suits my mind and life force. To drop it to do something else? I just don’t get that.

There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there’s only scarcity of resolve to make it happen.

Friends applaud, the comedy is over.

I’ve been thinking of humorous things since I was… I can’t remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.

It seems like when I was growing up there was more compromise, wanting to work with each other, and I think all of them – all of the lawmakers – have hearts to do what’s right, and they all are passionate about it.

I think every chef, not just in America, but across the world, has a double-edged sword – two jackets, one that’s driven, a self-confessed perfectionist, thoroughbred, hate incompetence and switch off the stove, take off the jacket and become a family man.

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.

Whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do it well; whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself completely; in great aims and in small I have always thoroughly been in earnest.

That’s when it becomes a business. When you’ve been public a long time, when it’s a career. You do certain films, you sell them.

Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

I believe in a passion for inclusion.

I don’t go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it’s contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.

I believe in singing.

Truthfully, without over-egging it, as I often do, the library and journalism, those things made me who I am.

Throughout my career, I learned plenty about war on the battlefield, but I learned even more about the importance of finding peace. And that is what the State Department and U.S.A.I.D. do: prevent the wars that we can avoid so that we fight only the ones we must.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it’s never at the expense of the other guy.

I do my job like I breathe.

I think if I keep working in the way that I am, from the heart and from passion and with love, well, the fruits of that will keep coming.

Football (soccer) is a matter of life and death, except more important.

But I think there are a set of experiences that turn a potential writer into a working writer, and then there are places in your life were you start to recognize what you want to do.

I enjoy acting when you really hit it right.

I was never interested in being powerful or famous. But once I got to film school and learned about movies, I just fell in love with it. I didn’t care what kind of movies I made.

The way I figured it, I was even with baseball and baseball with me. The game had done much for me, and I had done much for it.

I feel that when you care about your music, taking risks is something you should do to keep things exciting.

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don’t notice they’re getting made fun of. So they’ll say something back that’s not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

If you check your ego at the door when it comes to comedy, you’ve got a pretty good shot at making a great movie that you can commit yourself to, you can jump off the proverbial cliff with, and have a great time, and the audiences respond to that.

To do anything to a high level, it has to be total obsession.

The people you choose to have around you make all the difference. My family and close friends keep me grounded. You have to have a mind of your own and a strong head on your shoulders. Cricket is the most important thing to me, so the rest of it pales in comparison.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career – anything for a laugh.

‚Via Dolorosa‘ is the only thing I have ever acted in my life, professionally, and I’ll never act again.

A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.

The day when I am no more than a writer I shall cease to be a writer.

Doing music to pay bills is an uncomfortable situation. I never wanted to be in that situation.

I’m not a writer who teaches. I’m a teacher who writes.

In my early teens, I knew I wanted to do television production. I loved cameras, editing and producing, anything that had to do with television production. My friend had a production studio across town, and we’d go over there at night and shoot and edit. I produced my father’s televised service for 17 years.

I always loved advertising. If I hadn’t been in fashion, I’d have been in advertising.

I think that by staying true to myself and making music from my heart, the blessings come.

Why should I be studying for a future that soon may not exist?

Stand-up is hard.

Cows are my passion. What I have ever sighed for has been to retreat to a Swiss farm, and live entirely surrounded by cows – and china.

I knew I’d be in the UFC since I started my career.

There weren’t a lot of career opportunities in crazy-fast hardcore punk, so you didn’t have a lot of ambition, just the love and passion to play music with your friends.

My philosophy is, it’s always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don’t mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I’d like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

It takes up enough of my time and interest just working on comedy. I just enjoy it and love doing it.

I’ve accomplished enough with the music that I haven’t had to go out there and do other things to over-saturate.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

Oh yes, I love to do shoes. I’m not a fetishist but I love to do shoes.

When it comes down to my brand, We the Best, we’re about the people and whoever is passionate and in love the way I’m in love when it comes down to the headphones I’m promoting.

Uncontrolled, the hunger and thirst after God may become an obstacle, cutting off the soul from what it desires. If a man would travel far along the mystic road, he must learn to desire God intensely but in stillness, passively and yet with all his heart and mind and strength.

God didn’t make me to make movies, flex muscles, buy gold. What you love the most becomes your God… If I never make another dollar, my life is complete.

To depend upon a profession is a less odious form of slavery than to depend upon a father.

I don’t know what acting is, but I enjoy it.

I’ve enjoyed all the parts of my career.

Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principles which direct them.

Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.

I’m just someone who likes cooking and for whom sharing food is a form of expression.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

Whatever you want to do, do with full passion and work really hard towards it. Don’t look anywhere else. There will be a few distractions, but if you can be true to yourself, you will be successful for sure.

I look just like the girls next door… if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

Politics I supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.