Among all kinds of Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none in which they are more ambitious to excel.

I don’t think I will ever be content. I am somebody who is always hungry.

The rudiment of verse may, possibly, be found in the spondee.

I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact, if anything, I am the prod.

Jane Austen is the pinnacle to which all other authors aspire.

Whenever I write a novel, I have a strong sense that I am doing something I was unable to do before. With each new work, I move up a step and discover something new inside me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do ever – was write novels.

I was once a journalist. And I think of myself as a journalist, and that’s it. You tell the truth. I even wrote a book called ‚The Truth‘.

Sometimes I’ve called writing a disease. If so, I’m glad that it caught me.

It’s so tedious writing cookbooks or writing the recipes because I’ve never been much of a measurer. But to write a book, you have to measure everything.

When I was 16, I started publishing all kinds of things in school magazines.

I have to write because if I don’t get something down then after a while I feel it’s going to bang the side of my head off.

I wasn’t that great a chef, and I don’t think I’m that great a writer.

If I haven’t any talent for writing books or newspaper articles, well, then I can always write for myself.

My goals are so high that I don’t have time to relax in any way, shape or form.

At the beginning of the 20th century, the ambition of the great painters was to make paintings that were like music, which was then considered as the noblest art.

Some people want to win races. Other people want to be President of the United States.

So many writers don’t like to write… I like to write, and sometimes I’m afraid I like it too much, because when I get into work, I don’t want to leave it. And as a result, I’ll go for days and days and days without leaving my house.

Better the rudest work that tells a story or records a fact, than the richest without meaning.

Ambition is pitiless. Any merit that it cannot use it finds despicable.

I want to make pop cool again, and the only way I can do that is by being ambitious and grand.

Every author in some way portrays himself in his works, even if it be against his will.

I had nothing growing up, but I always wanted to be ‚sexy,‘ even before I knew what the word was.

I can’t deny that the thought of being governor, the thought of being president, is alluring. And beyond that, it would be an opportunity to make a real impact on people’s lives on a global scale. But there are a lot of other things I want to do first.

Conviction never so excellent, is worthless until it coverts itself into conduct.

I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in the same breath as the presidency.

When I am working on a book or a story, I write every morning as soon after first light as possible. There is no one to disturb you, and it is cool or cold, and you come to your work and warm as you write.

The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life and one is as good as the other.

And one more thing.

College isn’t in everyone’s hearts. I am living proof, though, that school doesn’t mess up your plans. It gives you more experiences to write about.

My stories run up and bite me on the leg – I respond by writing down everything that goes on during the bite. When I finish, the idea lets go and runs off.

‚Lives‘ is one of those books I should really have written when I was younger. It is the classic childhood, adolescence, breakthrough-into-maturity book. Every beginning writer has that material – and after that, you’re not sure what you can do.

If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own.

For me, writing has always come out of living a fairly to-the-bone kind of life, just really being present to a lot of life. The writing has been really a byproduct of that.

I write screenplays in the middle of the night.

I’ve always wanted to live above my means because it inspired me to work harder.

I identify myself as a hustler since I was a young kid.

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written.

There’s no reason why I can’t be a mogul. When I step into a room and I’m there to have a conversation, if it pertains to business, I want to be respected as a guy who knows what he’s talking about. And that, to me, holds more weight than anything else.

Immense power is acquired by assuring yourself in your secret reveries that you were born to control affairs.

Those who are believed to be most abject and humble are usually most ambitious and envious.

You just wait. I’m going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.

I was in a queer mood, thinking myself very old: but now I am a woman again – as I always am when I write.

I am a dangerous man when turned loose with a typewriter.

The short words are best, and the old words are the best of all.

I have made this letter longer than usual, only because I have not had the time to make it shorter.

I’m most suspicious of scripts that have a lot of stage direction at the top of the page… sunrise over the desert and masses of… a whole essay before you get to the dialogue.

A man’s got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

I’ve always appreciated a turn of phrase.

I’m not gonna be bad at anything, and I want to actually be the best at anything I’m doing. So if I’m playing basketball, if I’m taking the SATs, like, there’s a competitive spirit behind it. With production, it’s the same thing.

When you write your first book aged 25 or so, you have 25 years of experience, albeit much of it juvenile experience. The second book comes after an extra year sitting in bookshops. Pretty soon, you begin to run on empty.

A veteran journalist has never had time to think twice before he writes.

I don’t control my writing – it controls me.

What starts the process, really, are laughs and slights and snubs when you are a kid. If your anger is deep enough and strong enough, you learn that you can change those attitudes by excellence, personal gut performance.

It took me 40 years to write my first book. When I was a child, I was encouraged to go to school. I was not encouraged to follow the career of a writer because my parents thought that I was going to starve to death.

You want to be a writer? Start writing. You want to be a filmmaker? Start shooting stuff on your phone right now.

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy… and I keep it in a jar on my desk.

It’s funny because I’ve made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say.

Some day I shall be President.

All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare.

As a child, when asked what I would be, I usually said I was going to be a huntsman. A fine profession, truly!