A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Capital is money, capital is commodities. By virtue of it being value, it has acquired the occult ability to add value to itself. It brings forth living offspring, or, at the least, lays golden eggs.

Before the 1970s, banks were banks. They did what banks were supposed to do in a state capitalist economy: they took unused funds from your bank account, for example, and transferred them to some potentially useful purpose like helping a family buy a home or send a kid to college.

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.

Capital as such is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil. Capital in some form or other will always be needed.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

There are few ways in which a man can be more innocently employed than in getting money.

It is a way to take people’s wealth from them without having to openly raise taxes. Inflation is the most universal tax of all.

Do you know the only thing that gives me pleasure? It’s to see my dividends coming in.

Creditors have better memories than debtors.

You pray for rain, you gotta deal with the mud too. That’s a part of it.

Percentage margins don’t matter. What matters always is dollar margins: the actual dollar amount. Companies are valued not on their percentage margins, but on how many dollars they actually make, and a multiple of that.

The old-fashioned idea is that responsibility falls upon those who borrow and lend. Money was not borrowed by campesinos, assembly plant workers, or slum-dwellers. The mass of the population gained little from borrowing, indeed often suffered grievously from its effects.

Markets have built in inefficiencies, serious inefficiencies which are well known.

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets.

Remember that all financial markets are filled with good but not necessarily innocent people looking after their own self-interests before they look after yours.

The use of money is all the advantage there is in having it.

In the simplest terms, inflation occurs when there’s too much money in the system. On the flip side, deflation occurs when there are too few dollars in circulation.

I think any statement about stock prices is always suspect unless it’s made by Warren Buffett.

If a business does well, the stock eventually follows.

I’m going to retain a lot of Microsoft’s stock.

Tears of joy are like the summer rain drops pierced by sunbeams.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

Don’t hold against me that I don’t own – that I don’t own a single stock or bond. Don’t hold it – I have no savings accounts.

The one thing that offends me the most is when I walk by a bank and see ads trying to convince people to take out second mortgages on their home so they can go on vacation. That’s approaching evil.

I used to have insecurity about my finances, then I announced that I had debt, and now I don’t have any insecurities.

I think money is a wonderful thing because it enables you to do things. It enables you to invest in ideas that don’t have a short-term payback.

A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.

The circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.

I sincerely believe… that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.

I just think people should invest in the world. Don’t invest in fashion, but invest in the world.

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.

Now financial liberalization is just a catastrophe waiting to happen, and there are very well understood reasons for that.

I’m looking for backing for an unauthorized auto-biography that I am writing. Hopefully, this will sell in such huge numbers that I will be able to sue myself for an extraordinary amount of money and finance the film version in which I will play everybody.

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

As a precious metal, silver is also money.

If my businesses or my investments are not profitable, then I don’t eat. And I like to eat.

Money and investing can be complex, confusing, and often boring subjects.

Well private money can take risks in a way that government money often isn’t willing to.

I’m a cash flow guy. If it doesn’t make me money today, forget about it.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

Any time an investment company has to spend heavily on advertising, it’s probably a bad business in which to invest.

Never spend your money before you have earned it.

It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Predicting rain doesn’t count. Building arks does.

Large fortunes are all founded either on the occupation of land, or lending or the taxation of labor.

I used to pretend that my Peugeot driving to the gym in the rain in Dublin was a Ferrari on the Vegas strip.

I’m interested in movement, and I’m interested in money, and I’m interested in the movement of money.

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

When the bank asks me about my assets, I include my friendship with Regis Philbin.

Money has a language of its own.

Money is kind of a base subject. Like water, food, air and housing, it affects everything yet for some reason the world of academics thinks it’s a subject below their social standing.

I just don’t like mutual funds. I think they’re a rip-off.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Derivatives are financial weapons of mass destruction.

The sinews of war are infinite money.

If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.

People do not understand what a great revenue economy is.

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.

If you spend your life competing with business men, what do you have? A bank account and ulcers!