I’m pretty laid-back in real life. I just love hanging with my friends and making jokes. The jokes don’t stop – literally, all day.

Basketball is my passion, I love it. But my family and friends mean everything to me. That’s what’s important. I need my phone so I can keep in contact with them at all times.

I live half the year on Necker, a tiny island in the Caribbean, and it’s always full of people in party mode. Everyone comes up to the big house, and we’ll be dancing until the early hours to the island’s band, the Front Line.

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.

Good planning is important. I’ve also regarded a sense of humor as one of the most important things on a big expedition. When you’re in a difficult or dangerous situation, or when you’re depressed about the chances of success, someone who can make you laugh eases the tension.

Just as I wanted to outdo everyone when I played, I had to outdo everyone when we were out on the town.

I live in Puerto Rico, my family lives in Puerto Rico, my friends. What happens in Puerto Rico matters to me.

I’m a decent cook; I’m a decent chef. None of my friends would ever have hired me at any point in my career. Period.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

She laughs at everything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.

I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I’m just more sexually attracted to women. But I’m really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it totally saved me from becoming a monk or something.

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn’t give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn’t seem right.

What really motivates people at Facebook is building something that’s worthwhile, that they’re going to be proud to show to friends and family.

I have good friends who are politicians on both sides.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

I try to devote my afternoons to making music in my home studio, but it’s a lot more fun hanging out with musicians and friends, and trying subtly to influence a band than making your own stuff.

Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don’t mind laughing at it before you guys do.

Let it be our delight to find our society in the circle of which Jesus is the center, and let us make those our friends who are the friends of Jesus.

I am humble Abraham Lincoln. I have been solicited by my friends to become a candidate for the Legislature. My politics are short and sweet, like the old woman’s dance.

I don’t get up, get dressed, go out, and think, ‚Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.‘

All of my walls are covered with framed pictures of my friends.

I’ve missed out on a lot of things, going out with friends.

Of course, it does depend on the people, but sometimes I’m invited places to kind of brighten up a dinner table like a musician who’ll play the piano after dinner, and I know you’re not really invited for yourself. You’re just an ornament.

Humility must always be the portion of any man who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers and the sacrifices of his friends.

How happy had it been for me had I been slain in the battle. It had been far more noble to have died the victim of the enemy than fall a sacrifice to the rage of my friends.

All that the future holds in store for each sacred child of God will be shaped by his or her parents, family, friends, and teachers. Thus, our faith now becomes part of our posterity’s faith later.

Dinner was made for eating, not for talking.

I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn’t know what to do with me.

‚Love Story‘ is actually about a guy that I almost dated. But when I introduced him to my family and my friends, they all said they didn’t like him. All of them!

I love to pop up at the movie theaters. I love to treat the people who are there.

The kindness that’s been shown to me, by doctors as well as my family and my friends, it’s really saved my life.

I’ve got a great sense of humor, and if I’m able to say or do something in a movie that people feel like they want to repeat, that’s hugely flattering.

One of my lungs is half gone, and the other half, because I smoked for years, has a lesion. So I can’t swim anymore and had the swimming pool covered over. Now it’s what I call the dance pavilion, and so I and my friends sit out and put music on and watch people dance.

Think about what people are doing on Facebook today. They’re keeping up with their friends and family, but they’re also building an image and identity for themselves, which in a sense is their brand. They’re connecting with the audience that they want to connect to. It’s almost a disadvantage if you’re not on it now.

There is no private house in which people can enjoy themselves so well as at a capital tavern… No, Sir; there is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.

My friends ask me if I want more kids, and I always say yes, I want more; it’s the best thing you can have in your life.

You’re not going to see my sense of humor on the football field. That’s not a place for me to joke around.

When I’m back in New York – and this is a terrible thing to complain about – I eat a lot more really, really good food than perhaps I’d like to. So many of my friends are really good chefs. It’s kind of like being in the Mafia.

All of my friends who have younger siblings who are going to college or high school – my number one piece of advice is: You should learn how to program.

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

I like sitting and writing with my buddies.

Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.

I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.

Friendship increases in visiting friends, but in visiting them seldom.

Trying to meet new women, it’s always a little more difficult as opposed to calling somebody I knew that’s single and trying to rebuild that connection.

Friends applaud, the comedy is over.

I feel only my friends and family need to know what is happening in my personal life.

There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I’m joking and when I’m serious.

This character feels so much like my brother. He has two children. He has a wife. He works with me. He chooses to stay in New Hampshire because he wants his kids to grow up in the school they started with. He doesn’t want them to lose friends. He is his family’s hero.

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood.

It’s surprising to me how many of my friends send Christmas cards, or holiday cards, including my atheist and secular friends.

Since the very beginning, Emeril’s had a sense of humor about me calling him names and poking fun at him.

I created my MySpace page in eighth grade, because that’s how all my friends talked to each other, so I made one, too. Then, all of a sudden, my friends started putting my songs on their profiles, and then their relatives, their friends in different states did.

The boys know they’re from Southeast Asia, and they have their food and their music and their friends, and they have a pride particular to them.

I am confident that nobody… will accuse me of selfishness if I ask to spend time, while I am still in good health, with my family, my friends and also with myself.

I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one.

An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.

What I like about the jokes, to me it’s a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won’t be funny.

It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.