I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

It may seem a strange principle to enunciate as the very first requirement in a hospital that it should do the sick no harm.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.

The earth was probably born by accident; but, in accordance with one of the most general laws of evolution, scarcely had this accident happened than it was immediately made use of and recast into something naturally directed.

I fell and broke my pelvic bone in three places. So, I’m still sort of an invalid now.

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You’re not out of it until the computer says you’re out of it.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Accident counts for as much in companionship as in marriage.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Today, medical devices such as catheters and stethoscopes use silver, and every hospital in the western world uses silver sulfadiazine to prevent infections.

I break orbital bones.

I wanted to race cars. I didn’t like school, and all I wanted to do was work on cars. But right before I graduated, I got into a really bad car accident, and I spent that summer in the hospital thinking about where I was heading. I decided to take education more seriously and go to a community college.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

I was hit by a car once on my bike, but I still rode home.

I was the only kid who anybody I knew has ever seen actually walk into a lamppost with his eyes wide open. Everybody assumed that there must be something going on inside, because there sure as hell wasn’t anything going on on the outside!

There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed.

I saw a picture of myself when I came out of the hospital. I didn’t recognize myself.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.