NBC had a show called ‚The Toughest Bouncer in America‘ that I did. But I told them I didn’t like that term, ‚bouncer.‘ To me, it’s offensive. A bouncer likes to get physical, likes to put his hands on people.

I have practically no private life. I’m already used to this and ready for it. Yes, sometimes it is hard, but it is the choice I made.

I used to bodyguard for some celebrities and other people, and when I wasn’t doing that, I used to work at a disco as a doorman or a bouncer.

I could never give relationship advice to anybody!

We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from ‚Mr. Belvedere,‘ too. We stay in touch.

There is no private life which has not been determined by a wider public life.

To master a new technology, you have to play with it.

You have to be careful about how much you reveal to people that look up to you so much.

The answer I found is you stay away from the people who make fun of you, and you join these ad hoc groups who understand your craziness.

I’m not comfortable being around too many people. I don’t like being out in public too much. I don’t like going to bars. I don’t like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don’t always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends.

When you say, ‚I spent my summers at the Jersey Shore,‘ people always say, ‚Oh, really?‘ They think of the TV show. So I just say, ‚A cute little harbor town in New Jersey.‘

Jim Cramer is a very smart man. I watch his show. I just do not follow his advice.

I’ve learned that usually, the less I know about other people, the better off I am.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

SNL is a home. You’ve got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it’s a great time.

I won’t let people write anything they want to about me.

I’ve always put everybody else’s child first before my own health, before my own outfit, before my own time frame.

I have no problem if someone wants to hug me – if I know him!

My show ‚The Big House‘ was picked up; they flew me to New York. I’m about to step on stage to announce Kevin Hart’s ‚The Big House.‘ And a hand grabs my shoulder, ‚Kevin no, they just decided to cancel it.‘ It’s a serious smack-in-the-face business, and either you can take it, or you can’t.

I know who I am, I know what I can and can’t do. I know what I will and won’t do. I know what I’m capable of and I don’t agree to do things that I don’t think I can pull off.

I am not a second option person. It is that or nothing. If it is not the way I see it I prefer not to see it.

I like having my hands in the clay. I like the movie-making process.

If you don’t stand your ground, then all that happens is people push you backwards.

There are certain things that bother me and certain things that don’t. Personal attacks on me? I think I’m just so used to it.

I don’t like to get involved in things that I am not familiar with. I’m kind of a hands-on type of person.

On ‚Grey’s Anatomy‘ I wouldn’t care what I was playing – I would play a corpse, ‚cause I love it that much. It is deep true love, and it will never die.

‚The Simpsons‘ appearances were great fun. But I don’t take them too seriously. I think ‚The Simpsons‘ have treated my disability responsibly.

Give yourself more opportunities for privacy, when you are not bombarded with duties and obligations. Privacy is not a rejection of those you love; it is your deserved respite for recharging your batteries.

I feel like I’m being watched. Always. Like, I want to tan topless somewhere, and I know I probably could never do that. Even if I’m upstairs in my bedroom, and the curtains are pulled, I feel like a paparazzo’s outside on a boat somewhere, or somebody’s peeping.

I’ve been invited to do ‚Dancing With the Stars‘ three times, but Lifetime said no.

I don’t want to write an autobiography because I would become public property with no privacy left.

Anonymous comments? You’re not in the arena, man. If you can’t say it to me in person in front of my kids, don’t say it.

My concerts are about me being very private in public, but I’m very protective.

I try to very hard to avoid a situation where I would be eating cat or dog; I’ve managed to gracefully avoid that. It’s hypocritical of me and an arbitrary line, but one that I have managed to avoid crossing.

After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands.

When you make a TV show, they always say you’re a guest in someone’s home. Online, you’re a guest in someone’s face. So that’s why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I’m in your face.

If I feel anxious every time someone is staring at me, well, I can’t control what they stare at, but my reaction is, I’m just not going to go outside the house. I’m going to stay in and chill. And when I do go out, I understand what comes along with that.

I never like being touched, ever. People used to say I held my breath when they were hugging me. I still do.

I don’t like people looking at someone else’s image.

I wasn’t a normal professor. I had worked in government. I hadn’t written nine zillion books. I was a hands-on professor.

I don’t dabble and spend much mind or time dealing with, I don’t know, people’s perceptions of me. I truly don’t.

I don’t compare myself to anyone else; I don’t make comments about anyone else because they do what feels right for them, and that’s okay by me.

I think all documentaries leave out areas of people’s lives. Which is good. There are areas that need not be explored.

I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.

Dude, maybe not everyone loves ‚Glee.‘ Me included. I watched 10 minutes and it wasn’t my thing.

I’m used to seeing it, but it’s weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it’s kind of surreal to have one in your house.

Swimming has its educational value – mental, moral, and physical – in giving you a sense of mastery over an element, and of power of saving life, and in the development of wind and limb.