I say to the paparazzi, ‚Fellas, take your shot and go.‘ It’s just they usually find me on a beach.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.

I didn’t like the way I looked in pictures – when I saw myself on a digital camera, I was like, ‚Eesh.‘

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

The art is long, life is short.

If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Fools admire, but men of sense approve.

I never expect to see a perfect work from an imperfect man.

People want to act like they know celebrities. They want to see pictures. They want to know where you’re going. They want to hear you talk about your family.

Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

You don’t know when you’re being watched. That’s one of the weird things about celebrity. It’s my least favorite part of acting, celebrity.

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.

I hate the giving of the hand unless the whole man accompanies it.

In married life three is company and two none.

No one could have been nicer, classier nor better looking than Dick Clark. I’ve had a crush on him since I was a teenager.

The challenge for me as an actor is if you become a celebrity, you don’t meet strangers anymore. And strangers are where we have our anonymity. And I believe it’s essential for the soul to be anonymous, especially if you’re going to be an actor.

Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say ‚What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life!‘

Step with care and great tact, and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image.

Friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship – never.

The price of greatness is responsibility.

Everybody has their thing they like or don’t like to see. It’s all in your head. That’s why people take their own pictures, because it’s difficult for someone else to capture what you seek.

People until I was 60 would always say they thought I looked younger, which I think, without flattering myself, I did, but I think I certainly have, as George Orwell says people do after a certain age, the face they deserve.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Black-and-white always looks modern, whatever that word means.

When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.

I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.

We were at a beach one summer, and I had a bathing suit on. My wife looked at me and said: ‚Boy, you are skinny, aren’t you?‘ I said: ‚Honey, I’d like to remind you that it was minor defects like this that kept me from getting a better wife.‘

When you’re drowning, you don’t say ‚I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,‘ you just scream.

Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

I’m here to fight for the re-education of what celebrity is: to say, ‚Yes, we are celebrities, but yes, we’re also innovators. We’re also inventors. We’re also thoughtful.‘

Because you know when you first become famous, you start walking a little different because people are staring at you.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don’t like their rules, whose would you use?

One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip quotations down people’s throats – and one always secretes too much jelly.

Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment, nothing can fail. Without it, nothing can succeed.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

What I’ve learned is that you really don’t need to be a celebrity or have money or have the paparazzi following you around to be famous.

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Sometimes I wish my first word was ‚quote,‘ so that on my death bed, my last words could be ‚end quote.‘

Words are loaded pistols.

Poets utter great and wise things which they do not themselves understand.

When you work with kids, especially, you want to be ready to turn the camera on at a moment’s notice.

Twice and thrice over, as they say, good is it to repeat and review what is good.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes.

He shines in the second rank, who is eclipsed in the first.

A minute of thought is greater than an hour of talk.

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.

I once told Nixon that the Presidency is like being a jackass caught in a hail storm. You’ve got to just stand there and take it.