Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.

TV’s a big deal in prison. A big deal. People watch it nonstop.

I knew early on that I wanted to entertain in some form. And I knew I would work as hard as anyone to do it.

I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made ‚em up myself.

Wit is the lowest form of humor.

When I’m surfing, I’m sure not thinking about the paparazzi. I guess if they start getting on floaties and coming out there in the water, then I might be a little upset.

My philosophy is, it’s always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don’t mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I’d like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

When the first big paycheque with ‚Dumb And Dumber‘ hit, I went: ‚Gosh, I wonder if this will affect my performance. Will I do a take and think, was that worth $7 million?‘ But that never happened. If anything, it made me rebel against that thing when people who get rich start playing it safe.

Becoming famous was never what I wanted to do. There’s a lot of things that come with fame – it’s what people in the limelight have to do.

I try to be funny and not ignorant.

I love crime, I love mysteries, and I love ghosts.

What I’ve learned is that you really don’t need to be a celebrity or have money or have the paparazzi following you around to be famous.

I enjoy acting when you really hit it right.

What I like about the jokes, to me it’s a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won’t be funny.

‚Star Wars‘ is fun, its exciting, its inspirational, and people respond to that. It’s what they want.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

Music was an experience, intimately married to your life. You could pay to hear music, but after you did, it was over, gone – a memory.

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

Because you know when you first become famous, you start walking a little different because people are staring at you.

Getting recognized is insane. It just blows my mind. Like, someone who you don’t know at all can just be like, ‚Oh my God – are you Billie?‘

I like a drama.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

I love to pop up at the movie theaters. I love to treat the people who are there.

Much of everyday life is filled with opportunities to be distracted. Our possessions… entertainment… cares and anxieties… and even the passionate desire and pursuit of things, some good and not so good, can keep our minds and hearts caught up in a flurry of activity.

Acting is the perfect idiot’s profession.

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.

My goal is to make everyone and anyone a Kevin Hart fan.

The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing.

I learned how important it is to entertain people and give them a reason to come and watch you play.

Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I’d make one that I can’t get yelled at for.

Laughter is America’s most important export.

When I got into this, I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me, I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor, and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

Take my wife… Please!

If you were to ask me what I want to do – I don’t want to be a celebrity, I want to make a difference.

I’ve never seen myself as a star. I never call myself a celebrity or a superstar, whatever.

I have no interest in gender or race or anything like that. But everyone else is kind of, with their calculating – is this the exact right mix? I think that’s – to me it’s anti-comedy. It’s more about PC-nonsense.

Everything I learned I learned from the movies.

Human beings need stories, and we’re looking for them in all kinds of places; whether it’s television, whether it’s comic books or movies, radio plays, whatever form, people are hungry for stories.

The celebrity-chef thing, even at its worst, its most annoying, its silliest, its goofiest, its most egregious and cynical, has been a good thing.

My opinion can be completely different after a show.

You are always hoping that movie audiences are interested in characters and interested in story values rather than just mindless special effects. But you never know.

But I did ‚Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.‘ They made a cereal out of it, so once you’ve had a cereal, it doesn’t get much more surreal than that. Surreal cereal.

I don’t like to be bored.

It took Simone a long time to understand why people want Daddy’s autograph. I’d tell her, and my wife would tell her, too, ‚People see Daddy in the movies, and they are excited to meet him.‘ But she couldn’t really grasp it.

Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.

I’m all about surprises. If you watch a horror movie, and it’s called ‚Kiss Land,‘ it’s probably going to be the most terrifying thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

Friends applaud, the comedy is over.

Since childhood, I’ve been a clown. I’ve always liked being very funny or trying to make people laugh. It’s my original self.

I’ve been thinking of humorous things since I was… I can’t remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.

Fame itself… doesn’t really afford you anything more than a good seat in a restaurant.

I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.

I take a lot of pride in the work I do, because people pay to see me. They’ve got to get babysitters, park their car, get popcorn and candy. I’ve got to be conscious of that.

Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

Some people are very good at being ‚stars‘ and it suits them. I’m grudging about it and I find it annoying.

I’m home a lot. Because I live in Ireland, we can live under the celebrity radar. I might go missing for a whole year.

I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.

Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.

I saw MotoGP on TV first, before I saw F1 and other types of car racing. It’s what I got more into. It was cool, there was good, exciting racing.

Brad will tell you. He puts a movie on, I’m asleep in 10 minutes. I have no patience. But the kids love action movies with comedy, Jackie Chan and all that.

Talent grips us. We are overtaken by the beauty of Michelangelo’s sculpture, riveted by Mariah Carey’s angelic voice, doubled over in laughter by the comedy of Robin Williams, and captivated by the on screen performances of Denzel Washington.