There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

When I was a seminarian, I was dazzled by a girl I met at an uncle’s wedding. I was surprised by her beauty, her intellectual brilliance… and, well, I was bowled over for quite a while.

There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.

In Hollywood a girl’s virtue is much less important than her hairdo.

I wanted to be a skinny little ballerina but I was a voluptuous little Italian girl whose dad had meatballs on the table every night.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.

She’s a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

When I was 16… I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because… they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

I want you to feel happy and enjoy the theatre of my life the way that I do. No matter what happens with my music and wherever I go – that heart of that glamorous girl in New York will never be gone.

The great advantage of a hotel is that it is a refuge from home life.

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.

Touring is very routine. You get to the city, you go to the hotel, you got to be at the hotel by a certain time – it’s very routine. I’m not a very structured person, so when I get some structure, it’s cool; it’s good for me.