I’m not denyin‘ the women are foolish. God Almighty made ‚em to match the men.

You know, one race will not be a survivor if the other one dies, and that’s something that we should think about.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others.

You know, my Grandpop Finnegan used to have an expression: he used to say, ‚Joey, the guy in Olyphant’s out of work, it’s an economic slowdown. When your brother-in-law’s out of work, it’s a recession. When you’re out of work, it’s a depression.‘

The average Hollywood film star’s ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend.

I don’t get up, get dressed, go out, and think, ‚Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.‘

Our affections as well as our bodies are in perpetual flux.

You make ‚em, I amuse ‚em.

An unemployed court jester is nobody’s fool.

A friend in power is a friend lost.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

If thy brother wrongs thee, remember not so much his wrong-doing, but more than ever that he is thy brother.

I have no fear that the result of our experiment will be that men may be trusted to govern themselves without a master.

We believe that every single child has boundless promise, no matter who they are, where they come from, or how much money their parents have. We’ve got to remember that. We believe that each of these young people is a vital part of the great American story.

The correlative to loving our neighbors as ourselves is hating ourselves as we hate our neighbors.

I try to be funny and not ignorant.

Wealthy men can’t live in an island that is encircled by poverty. We all breathe the same air. We must give a chance to everyone, at least a basic chance.

When the burdens of the presidency seem unusually heavy, I always remind myself it could be worse. I could be a mayor.

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don’t they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It’s obvious I’ve got big ones and if people want to assume they’re not mine, then let them.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

Freedom is not enough.

I’ve been careful in love. I’ve been careless in love. And I’ve had adventures I wouldn’t trade for anything.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.

We are a nation founded as a rebuke to tyranny. A nation of revolutionaries who refused sovereign reign from afar. Hear me – we’re a nation that says give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. A nation built on our differences, guided by the belief that we’re all created equal.

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.

Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.

I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.

There are slavish souls who carry their appreciation for favors done them so far that they strangle themselves with the rope of gratitude.

Woman’s at best a contradiction still.

The best marriages are the ones where we can go out in the world and really put ourselves out there. A lot of times we’ll fail, and sometimes we’ll pull it off. But good marriages are when you can go home and know that your vulnerability will be honored as courage, and that you’ll find support.

The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.

I think all Americans believe in human rights. And health is an often overlooked aspect of basic human rights. And it’s one that’s easily corrected. The reason I say that is that many of the diseases that we treat around the world, I knew when I was a child. My mother was a registered nurse. And they no longer exist in our country.

When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others.

It is really funny when people say you’d be obvious for a great villain.

One of the most terrible feelings in the world is knowing that someone else doesn’t like you. Especially when you don’t know what you’ve done to deserve it.

Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard to their form but with regard to their mode of life.

Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on.

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

I think I have a certain respect for people, you know. And I guess a lot of times I expect that respect to go both ways.

I mean… in life… what relationship is easy?

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

If you like a person you say ‚let’s go into business together.‘ Man is a social animal after all, but such partnerships are fraught with danger.

Eternal principles that govern happiness apply equally to all.

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words.

I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, ‚Dang, she looks good for her age!‘

I’m sick of the tabloids‘ saying I obsess over guys. Why would you obsess over guys? They don’t like it.

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

I think there ought to be a strict separation or wall built between our religious faith and our practice of political authority in office. I don’t think the President of the United States should extoll Christianity if he happens to be a Christian at the expense of Judaism, Islam or other faiths.

A friend to all is a friend to none.

It is very hard to not be able to engage with people in a real and honest way because they either want something from me, or they see me as something that I simply am not.

Men are more easily governed through their vices than through their virtues.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Family quarrels are bitter things. They don’t go according to any rules. They’re not like aches or wounds, they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material.

Man, all lives matter.

There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it’s not so much a good joke anymore. ‚Everybody’s from Scranton; no one’s in Scranton.‘