The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

I believe that singing is the key to long life, a good figure, a stable temperament, increased intelligence, new friends, super self-confidence, heightened sexual attractiveness, and a better sense of humor.

If there is one principle more deeply rooted in the mind of every American, it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest.

I see Americans of every party, every background, every faith who believe that we are stronger together: black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American; young, old; gay, straight; men, women, folks with disabilities, all pledging allegiance under the same proud flag to this big, bold country that we love. That’s what I see. That’s the America I know!

I want a president who will teach our children that everyone in this country matters, a president who truly believes in the vision that our Founders put forth all those years ago that we are all created equal, each a beloved part of the great American story.

Good planning is important. I’ve also regarded a sense of humor as one of the most important things on a big expedition. When you’re in a difficult or dangerous situation, or when you’re depressed about the chances of success, someone who can make you laugh eases the tension.

The American people abhor a vacuum.

It’s rural America. It’s where I came from. We always refer to ourselves as real America. Rural America, real America, real, real, America.

What I like about the jokes, to me it’s a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won’t be funny.

I’ve got a great sense of humor.

Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don’t mind laughing at it before you guys do.

Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans – born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.

There’s very little dislike of Americans in the world, shown by repeated polls, and the dissatisfaction – that is, the hatred and the anger – they come from acceptance of American values, not a rejection of them, and recognition that they’re rejected by the U.S. government and by U.S. elites, which does lead to hatred and anger.

You’re not going to see my sense of humor on the football field. That’s not a place for me to joke around.

Millions of us, myself included, go back generations in this country, with ancestors who put in the painstaking work to become citizens. So we don’t like the notion that anyone might get a free pass to American citizenship.

Americans admire a people who can scratch a desert and produce a garden. The Israelis have shown qualities that Americans identify with: guts, patriotism, idealism, a passion for freedom. I have seen it. I know. I believe that.

Let’s be honest – tracking down, rounding up, and deporting millions of people isn’t realistic. Anyone who suggests otherwise isn’t being straight with you. It’s also not who we are as Americans.

I’ve got a great sense of humor, and if I’m able to say or do something in a movie that people feel like they want to repeat, that’s hugely flattering.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can’t predict what people will laugh at.

I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.

She laughs at everything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth.

If you are a small company taking on a big company, you need to have a sense of humor.

I’m pretty laid-back in real life. I just love hanging with my friends and making jokes. The jokes don’t stop – literally, all day.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

Keeping an active mind has been vital to my survival, as has been maintaining a sense of humor.

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood.

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

I understand that being able to appeal to the public and having an amazing sense of humour is not something that comes easy. It’s definitely a gift and for which I’m thankful.

Any man who has had the job I’ve had and didn’t have a sense of humor wouldn’t still be here.

I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.

Since the very beginning, Emeril’s had a sense of humor about me calling him names and poking fun at him.

The path we have chosen for the present is full of hazards, as all paths are. The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission.