The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.

If somebody thinks they’re a hedgehog, presumably you just give ‚em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Funny is the world I live in. You’re funny, I’m interested. You’re not funny, I’m not interested.

If you can’t read, the only thing you can do is enjoy the pictures, not the whole story. Reading is the key to knowledge. Knowledge is the key to understanding. So read on, young man! Read on, young lady!

I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn’t know what to do with me.

The book, ’12 Rules For Life,‘ is a very serious book. There’s elements of humor in it, but I’m trying to struggle with things at the deepest possible level and to explain to people why it’s necessary to live a upstanding and noble and moral and truthful and responsible life, and why there’s hell to pay if you don’t do that.

If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

No one is laughable who laughs at himself.

Education is not a problem. Education is an opportunity.

I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.

Scratch a Yale man with both hands and you’ll be lucky to find a coast-guard. Usually you find nothing at all.

Trash talk? Smack talk? This is an American term that makes me laugh. I simply speak the truth. I’m an Irish man.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than what they think laughable.

Here’s what I’ve learned about deal-breakers. If you have enough natural chemistry with someone, you overlook every single thing that you said would break the deal.

When you’re older you want to learn from other people.

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

By stopping flying, you don’t only reduce your own carbon footprint but also that sends a signal to other people around you that the climate crisis is a real thing and that helps push a political movement.

One of the skills I had to learn and become proficient in is kissing a man. I had never kissed a man. Will Smith did it in his movies, so did Jake Gyllenhaal, and I figured it was my time. So it was me and Steve Carell – fantastic.

There can never be any stop to learn about different cultures by travelling to different places. And whatever comes your way, continue the healthy eating habits.

A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring.

Patriotism, when it wants to make itself felt in the domain of learning, is a dirty fellow who should be thrown out of doors.

To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child.

In order that all men may be taught to speak the truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it.

Love is a really scary thing, and you never know what’s going to happen. It’s one of the most beautiful things in life, but it’s one of the most terrifying. It’s worth the fear because you have more knowledge, experience, you learn from people, and you have memories.

It’s sometimes comical to hear the younger generation ask their peers to repeat themselves.

Marriage is a school itself. Also, having children. Becoming a father changed my whole life. It taught me as if by revelation.

I wrote my first song at 12 and remember someone asking, ‚What were you going through at 12 that you could write about?‘ I get what you’re saying, but 11, 12, 13 were the hardest years of my life. You learn everything. You learn how horrible things feel.

Over the years, I had nurtured the hope to be able to fly; to handle a machine as it rose higher and higher in the stratosphere was my dearest dream.

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.

I’m a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they’re interested in.

Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.

If a man’s wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics.

What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence.

Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other.

Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

No man who worships education has got the best out of education… Without a gentle contempt for education no man’s education is complete.

But although all our knowledge begins with experience, it does not follow that it arises from experience.

So many guys are so conservative with their hair, and I always joke with all my buddies when they mess with me, and I’ll say, ‚That’s right, keep the same haircut for ten years.‘ How fun is that?

Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything.

There isn’t any formula or method. You learn to love by loving – by paying attention and doing what one thereby discovers has to be done.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That’s the funniest joke in the world.

My husband calls me ‚catfish.‘ He says I’m all mouth and no brains.

To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.

Technique is really personality. That is the reason why the artist cannot teach it, why the pupil cannot learn it, and why the aesthetic critic can understand it.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.

My philosophy is, it’s always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don’t mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I’d like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

I’ve been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I’m driving, I hear I’m a moron. I like being a moron.

All knowledge which ends in words will die as quickly as it came to life, with the exception of the written word: which is its mechanical part.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone’s imagination.