And I love a scary movie. It makes your toes curl and it’s not you going through it.

I love crime, I love mysteries, and I love ghosts.

Music is part of the life of fashion, too.

WWE is a space where I thrived, and I loved, and I still do. I love connecting with an audience; that is the greatest thing about going back to WWE.

You are always hoping that movie audiences are interested in characters and interested in story values rather than just mindless special effects. But you never know.

I do admire Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen, but I’m a philistine. I like the good life too much; I’m not good at going on stage night after night and on wet Wednesday afternoons.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

I’m Mickey Mouse. They don’t know who’s inside the suit.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I’m joking and when I’m serious.

I think the thing we see is that as people are using video games more, they tend to watch passive TV a bit less. And so using the PC for the Internet, playing video games, is starting to cut into the rather unbelievable amount of time people spend watching TV.

I spent much of my childhood in northern Quebec, and often there was no radio, no television – there wasn’t a lot to entertain us. When it rained, I stayed inside reading, writing, drawing.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

Stand-up is my baby.

My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.

I don’t think comedy will ever die.

I work hard for the audience. It’s entertainment. I don’t need validation.

I don’t want people at my shows to come out and say, ‚I just saw a cool show.‘ I want them to say, ‚I had fun at the show.‘ I want it to be a collaborative thing and be part of the audience and have them be part of me. I try to interact with everyone there and have them be equal to me because they are.

I’ve been thinking of humorous things since I was… I can’t remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.

I like my fair share of board games.

I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night – and I’d dream about it being me.

I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made ‚em up myself.

To the audience, it’s like I’m changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show’s almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.

The secret to humor is surprise.

Pop music will never be low brow.

My goal is to entertain myself and others.

I never listen to the radio unless I rent a car.

In music the passions enjoy themselves.

I love music, and after my first experience with movies, I can’t wait to do more.

Nothing is so intolerable to man as being fully at rest, without a passion, without business, without entertainment, without care.

Football games are on TV, and it doesn’t affect stadium attendance at all. It’s the same with movies. People who really love movies and like to go out on a Saturday night will go to the movie theater.

I can remember earning £5,000 a game playing for Hibs at the end of the Seventies. They let me commute from London, train on the Friday and play on Saturday. That lasted until my friends at the Inland Revenue decided to take two-thirds. That wasn’t very entertaining for me.

I really like children to watch my movies.

I do all my own stunts. I’m kidding.

I know that if I had a television in my flat I would convince myself that everything on it was really interesting. I would say, ‚I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!‘ is so sociologically fascinating that I think I’d better watch.

I think music is something that can, and should, be used to get you into different things because eventually what goes up must come down – we’re not going to be the number one group in the world forever – so you have to have something else to fall back on.

Movies are fun, but they are no cure for cancer.

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

‚Kitchen Confidential‘ wasn’t a cautionary or an expose. I wrote it as an entertainment for New York tri-state area line cooks and restaurant lifers, basically; I had no expectation that it would move as far west as Philadelphia.

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don’t like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around.

We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.

In the end, everything is a gag.

I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I’m doing new stuff all the time.

It’s really fun to be on stage in front of people.

I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war – for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I’d say we deserve ours more.

I enjoy driving on the sim, doing stuff like that, staying at home.

People are using Windows PCs more than they watch TV now.

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.

I saw MotoGP on TV first, before I saw F1 and other types of car racing. It’s what I got more into. It was cool, there was good, exciting racing.

I’ve always loved the showmanship of professional wrestling. While I love making movies, I love that platform, too.

You entertain people who are satisfied. Hungry people can’t be entertained – or people who are afraid. You can’t entertain a man who has no food.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

I could have spent eight years doing anything, and at some level, it would have been fine. I could have focused on flowers. I could have focused on decor. I could have focused on entertainment. Because any First Lady, rightfully, gets to define her role. There’s no legislative authority; you’re not elected. And that’s a wonderful gift of freedom.

A lot of people think I’m a comedian.

Besides entertainment and action, I want to educate. You know, as a producer or director, we do have a responsibility to society.

On a good night, I get underwear, bras, and hotel-room keys thrown onstage… You start to think that you’re Tom Jones.

There are very few people who really appreciate my shows. People come to the show and they pay and they enjoy it, but I don’t really think most people really understand what they’ve seen.

TV’s a big deal in prison. A big deal. People watch it nonstop.

Wrestling is intimate. You can reach out and touch the wrestlers.