Is there a sharper commentary on American culture and the world than The Simpsons?

For so many people, television and movies may be the only way they understand people who aren’t like them.

The right honourable gentleman caught the Whigs bathing, and walked away with their clothes. He has left them in the full enjoyment of their liberal positions, and he is himself a strict conservative of their garments.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

Stand-up is my baby.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

Football games are on TV, and it doesn’t affect stadium attendance at all. It’s the same with movies. People who really love movies and like to go out on a Saturday night will go to the movie theater.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

A lot of artists fail when they try to act, and they flop. So when I get into acting, it’s going to be to do it well, something good, something of quality. I want people to say, ‚Wow, that movie‘ – or that show or whatever – ‚turned out really well.‘

I’ve always loved the showmanship of professional wrestling. While I love making movies, I love that platform, too.

You entertain people who are satisfied. Hungry people can’t be entertained – or people who are afraid. You can’t entertain a man who has no food.

If you look at U.S. history through religious history, there is very much a motif that shows the importance religion has played in the U.S. We’re a very religious country and it affects the way we look at various political issues.

What a blast it is to be here with Michael Moore.

Disneyland is the star, everything else is in the supporting role.

You know how you either grow up in a Michael Jackson house or a Prince house? For me it was Michael Jackson. I could never decide whether I wanted to be Michael Jackson or marry him.

I like Cardi B!

I do love the films I’ve done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we’re trying to make people laugh and I’m very proud of that.

I make pop culture.

Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.

I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone’s grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

Diana Ross is a big inspiration to all of us. We all grew up watching everything about her – her mike placement, her grace, her style and her class.

I’m sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.

My mom is American, so I was raised in her household in my formative years.

I would like to be the chronicler of something that I think is going down the drain very swiftly, and that is small-town, middle-class southern life.

I’ve always wanted to do a family movie.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn’t educate America if they started at 6:30.

‚Kitchen Confidential‘ wasn’t a cautionary or an expose. I wrote it as an entertainment for New York tri-state area line cooks and restaurant lifers, basically; I had no expectation that it would move as far west as Philadelphia.

In music the passions enjoy themselves.

The best book, like the best speech, will do it all – make us laugh, think, cry and cheer – preferably in that order.

Pop music will never be low brow.

I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere.

To the audience, it’s like I’m changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show’s almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.

Writers and books are cheap dates, especially when you compare the cost of a book with a ticket to the opera – or an NHL game.

That little Miley Cyrus… she’s like a little Elvis. The kids love her because she’s Hannah Montana, but what people don’t realize about her is she is such a fantastic singer and songwriter. She writes songs like she’s 40 years old!

When Jerry Springer thinks you’ve gone too far, my friends, you have gone too far.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing.

I absolutely want to have a career where you make’em laugh and make’em cry. It’s all theater.

Say there’s a white kid who lives in a nice home, goes to an all-white school, and is pretty much having everything handed to him on a platter – for him to pick up a rap tape is incredible to me, because what that’s saying is that he’s living a fantasy life of rebellion.

Come on, you can’t name a truck after a chick.

You can always think of something like the Xbox 360 as a super set-top box that can do everything the set-top box does, but then have the graphics to do the games as well.

You think I’m going to ask these sweet 14 year olds to ask their parents to buy a $100 ticket then run around in latex and lip sync? No way.

Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren’t. I don’t know if its the way you say it, or how you look.

I’ve been reading tabloids since I was nine. I love a good story.

I love being American, and I love family. I love having a family, and I feel so blessed, and I feel like God gave me exactly what I wanted, so now I have to do the right thing in God’s eyes also. Just follow what God wants me to do.

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.

Acting is the perfect idiot’s profession.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it’s their fault.

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

I’m not one of these guys who sits around saying, ‚Gee, I mean, the person had a strange childhood and that’s why he’s doing this horrible thing. Poor Jeffrey Dahmer. He’s just had a bad childhood and that’s why he’s eating people.‘ Wait a second! This person should be removed from the planet.

I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.

Nothing is so intolerable to man as being fully at rest, without a passion, without business, without entertainment, without care.

There are no second acts in American lives.

Politics is applesauce.

I want more of my favorite artists or more of the guy that makes the anthems. I want more.

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.