Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.

Music is like film to me.

My life is not unlike Truman’s. I can’t go anywhere.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second.

French fries kill more people than guns and sharks, yet nobody’s afraid of French fries.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

The spread of civilisation may be likened to a fire; first, a feeble spark, next a flickering flame, then a mighty blaze, ever increasing in speed and power.

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.

Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.

Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English.

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.

Apple’s market share is bigger than BMW’s or Mercedes’s or Porsche’s in the automotive market. What’s wrong with being BMW or Mercedes?

The feeling of friendship is like that of being comfortably filled with roast beef; love, like being enlivened with champagne.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.

In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get – The Future!

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That’s what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.

Jesus is ideal and wonderful, but you Christians – you are not like him.

There is no gambling like politics.

I have more friends in New York than Paris.

Man never thinks himself happy, but when he enjoys those things which others want or desire.

What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock and roll or Christianity.

It disturbs me no more to find men base, unjust, or selfish than to see apes mischievous, wolves savage, or the vulture ravenous.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still.

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.

There’s no difference between movies and television. None at all. Except in a lot of cases, television’s much better than movies.

Obama’s not Jesus. He can’t walk on water.

A man who says that no patriot should attack the war until it is over… is saying no good son should warn his mother of a cliff until she has fallen.

Doing a show for three weeks is nothing like doing a show for seven seasons.

I guess if I’m a product, either you’re chocolate, you’re vanilla or you’re butterscotch. You can’t be all three.

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

O wise man! Give your wealth only to the worthy and never to others. The water of the sea received by the clouds is always sweet.

You’re beautiful, like a May fly.

As a Western, ‚The Magnificent Seven‘ was a pretty good film. I don’t think it was as interesting or as multi-faceted as ‚Seven Samurai.‘

The Church is like a great tree whose roots must be energetically anchored in the earth while its leaves are serenely exposed to the bright sunlight. In this way, she sums up a whole gamut of beats in a single living and all-embracing act, each one of which corresponds to a particular degree or a possible form of spiritualisation.

I have found that, in the composition of the human body as compared with the bodies of animals, the organs of sense are duller and coarser. Thus, it is composed of less ingenious instruments, and of spaces less capacious for receiving the faculties of sense.

It’s a nice reader, but there’s nothing on the iPad I look at and say, ‚Oh, I wish Microsoft had done it.‘

People should not make me out to be like Jesus; I don’t walk on water.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

I think we’re going to the moon because it’s in the nature of the human being to face challenges. It’s by the nature of his deep inner soul… we’re required to do these things just as salmon swim upstream.

You might say that Lyndon Johnson is a cross between a Baptist preacher and a cowboy.

For as one star another far exceeds, So souls in heaven are placed by their deeds.

Great and good are seldom the same man.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

I’ve done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they’re going to be compared directly against other ads.

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.

In the United States, we can do almost anything we want. It’s not like Egypt, where you’re going to get murdered by the security forces.

The behavior of the crowd at Churchill Downs is like 100,000 vicious Hyenas going berserk all at once in a space about the size of a 777 jet or the White House lawn.

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast.

You’d have a hard time finding anything better than Barcelona for food, as far as being a hub. Given a choice between Barcelona and San Sebastian to die in, I’d probably want to die in San Sebastian.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.

Baldwin thought Europe was a bore, and Chamberlain thought it was only a greater Birmingham.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.